Lessons from bits of chewed hamburger. Plates of pasta. Used napkins. Spilt Hibiscus Mint Tea.

Humility can not be divorced from service. So often in our heart of hearts when we “serve” others, we enjoy both the praise of both those we help and the envy of those onlookers who wish they were helping. But when we’re truly willing to do the jobs that no one else in the room wants to – whether that be bussing tables, hugging sweaty kids, cleaning various wastes, whatever anyone else does not want to spend their day doing – we participate in and complete Jesus life on earth. As he stooped to wash the feet of the disciples, he both humbled himself and lifted up those around him. When Peter decided that he should not have his feet washed, Jesus quickly reprimanded him. No one else in that room could serve those around him so purely as Christ himself

When we take off our outer garment of selfishness, we can be freed to release the power of Jesus to humbly serve when no one else wills or wants to because we do so as an act of love towards God by loving his people.

13...

The time, in months, it took me to "read through the Bible in a year," from Genesis to Revelation in chronological order.

I learned a ton about the creation (the setting) and seperation (the conflict) and Israel, kings, convenants, wars, prophets, temples, miracles, controversies, cultures (the characters & rising action) and how God remains faithful amidst it all. To be honest, there's really too much to even think about writing in a single, pithy blog. But - more than anything else - i mean if I really had to sum it all up - I suppose this is what this first read through the Bible has helped me re-experience the most:

Jesus lived & lives (the climax).

Seriously. Despite all of the crap man is and does, God never ceases throughout the scriptures to love unconditionally. After trudging through the OT, Jesus lineage was exciting for the first time. Listening to his family line, wrought with human frailty, magnificently build up to that point in history where God himself humbly came to earth to save his creation. He became an ant to save ants. He exemplified love daily in ways we as people had never known. He made sense of everything prior and fuels the everything after. He walked among us. He wants us to do the same (the falling action) until He returns again (the divine resolution).

Next time I'd like to read/listen to God's story aloud from the Message. That might begin on the first day of the new year if anyone is interested.

cheers to rationality

geometry never ceases to tickle that specific portion of my brain (i think its somewhere over the corpus callosum) that delights in the natural mathematics of shape. bisecting angles might be one of the more fun ways to spend an afternoon. Just a protractor, paper, pencil and my noggin. when life is chaotic or doesn't make sense, at least there's geometry to keep the world balanced.

sliver

The streetlamp meandering through the trees illumined a one-inch wide facial sliver, flowing from hair to chin. As he swayed back and forth from his perch upon on the stairs, the yellow sliver slid from side to side, just passed the ear across high cheek bones, deep into eye sockets and along to tip of the nose. Pitted against the black shadows covering the rest of his face, a spark glistened off the curvature of his eyeball. That single, coming-going radiance swaying to and fro amidst darkness echoes the soul’s expectant yearning for a brighter day.

marky-mark and the funky brothas

Saw Four Brothers. In addition to the weirdness created by seeing this R-rated, shoot-em-up with 8 year olds beside me, I have these condensced thoughts:

- This is the inner city take on the western
- How much of these characters/traits are role models/aspirations?
- Is justice a state of mind, an act, or retribution?
- To what extent is this story truly representative of the current state of inner city life - as represented by the glorification of gun play, subjectification of women, modes of justice, gang culture, and hopelessness?
-- subquestion: Does the fact that urban thug-gangster life sold both the most popular video game last year and the best selling record have anything to say to this increasing heroism of vigilante violence and other western genre ideals?
- Is there a job i can have where i get the final edit to improve films: music - horrible; flashbacks - cheeseball; cutting - simple; lighting - harsh, quick and easy;

good vibrations?

Previous blog posts may have been a bit cryptic, indeed. They were intended to be so because most people won’t understand what I mean or what I’m learning since it is my experience (though I’m working on communicating these personal lessons better) – so I’d rather just post something poetic and be okay with its mysteriously esoteric nature. As such, the posts are for me – they should be – and not you (sorry if that bursts your bubble). Nonetheless, the writings are loose personal inquiries as to what I am doing at CM and/or why. They attempt to reconcile my wrestlings with urban missionaryhood. They are ponderances upon themes and questions such as: what is the good news? Hope? Proclamation v. incarnation? And some various other “Kingdom” references, not to mention - just personal frustrations and mixed views on my life. So…

“In the nearness of God, we are happy and life begins to vibrate.” This is the quote from Jurgen Moltmann that caused me to read his book The Source of Life: The Holy Spirit and the Theology of Life. Contrary to the title, this is not a Family Bookstore read. Rather it increases the size of the Spirit from the personal do-gooding spirit within to the creator, inhabitor, and perfecter of all life (at least it did for me). I digress to yesterday morning:

I held this book in my hand as I walked into work at 8AM. From my car to the store, I thought about which quote I might read someone if they were to ask me about it. I struggle with whether or not to take in such books so as not to seem “too religious” to the average man since it isn’t normal among employees to read theology books at Central Market (and everyone seems to always curiously check out what others are reading as a way to stimulate conversation and eavesdrop on their personal life). But this is more than simply my personal life, so - Yes, perhaps I’ll share this quote with my co-workers and friends because it really resonated with me. I love the fact that lately, I have felt more in tune than ever before with God’s creation, will, and love amidst the chaos the world throws at me. But back to the digression…

I’m still considering this quote about the nearness of God causing our world to vibrate with happiness, and when compiled with the “good news/hope/kingdom” business, I must admit – I’m at a loss. It seems to me that to proclaim the above sentence does in fact cause the world to vibrate. But not vibrate easily – its more of a world-shattering, earth-quaking ruckus that causes babies to scream and adults to cower in fear.

This is the life of the unbeliever.

As a not-yet believer’s world comes closer to the all-encompassing God surrounding him, life begins to crumble like a castle under siege. The holy presence of God invades his space, pointing out the shadows of his sin calling him to the light of new life. What was providing "happiness" becomes exposed for what sin really is - the failure of our lives to meet the presence of God. So where’s the catch? Where’s the space between the total foundational destruction and such utter resonance that the vibrancy of life shines through the devastation?

Jesus – he is the only way. He lived to fight for God’s perfection and defend against man’s insurrection. Somehow Jesus navigated the blurry line of flesh and spirit so perfectly that he instilled hope in individuals, strengthened a community, and revolutionized humanity. He shakes down houses built in the flesh and restores their fondations upon a rock to be built in the Spirit.

I can’t help it that Moltamnn's quote brings me so much joy and describes my life so well at this point. While at the same time, this quote may very well be either laughable, scary or both for others as they lie upon the sandy San Andreas during their 8.5 trials. All I can do is help them see that the subtle vibrations of God’s life indwelling our world trump the unpredictable earthquakes of a life on the brink of disaster.

"What's this book?"
{takes book from my hand}
{reads back cover}
"Jesus Christ."
"Actually it's the Holy Spirit, but close."

living is learning is loving is my life

i am a student of the world.

i am living within a new cultural context.

i am learning that requires a new language/ metaphors/ jokes.

i am misunderstood (by people old and new).

i am refusing to "judge" "success."

i am a caster of seed.

I AM comforts/ cajoles/ cultivates my meager efforts.

the bridge illustration lie across the san andreas fault during an 8.5

She brought me good news in brown paper bag
She crossed a bridge, said hello with a smile
I gazed up, slightly weary
I’ve forgotten how to say thank you.

Simply a bag, a necessary grab of this and that
The mundane, the ordinary.
Not what but how this package came to be
And mean so much to me in that alley

She didn’t stop to chit-chat
For I was not ready to engage such discourse
It was all I could do to tip my tattered cap
While the beautiful feet crossed my path