Tuesday, August 31, 2004

energetic musing

Tip your hat to the muse. Even if the muse is the wretched HW. Hollywood can still produce quality. Even from a rough-em-up-gunfights-galore director can we get an intriguing, intense drama with action thrown in for fun. A little Taxi Driver meets Driving Miss Daisy.

So… thank you Michael Mann, for making Collateral so enjoyable for me (and the movie-going experience is all about me ;). It sparked my own creative juices and I began a spat of new screenwriting endeavors last night. Hopefully this writing will continue and not be smashed by the everyday undulations of job searching and well – stuff like eating and talking.

If any of you has a favorite film out there that might spark a creative twinge, please pass it along. The creative coffee is percolating currently. It’ll be awhile before the actual beverage emerges. However, I hope it comes out a strong black.

Sometimes we all need a kick in the pants.

Friday, August 27, 2004

a new space

The blue room. The Being John Malcovich room. The opium den. The hippie hangout. The closet.

Since moving into my new place, the hardest thing to do has been attempting to figure out what to do with this oversized closet off my bedroom. Should it be for a desk or drums or storage or any number of other possibilities. Tonight I think I began to understand part of its purpose.

It’s truly a meditation room. A little getaway from the world. Away from everything no nature, no tv, no people (yet), no phone, no clock. Just me, my thoughts, a Bible and some pillows and good light to read/think by. A small retreat – tonight it was me, a brew, and a journal. Nothing fancy. Just a space. A space to think and relax. To be with me. To allow God to reconcile my life. Help me make sense of it. It’s a good room. I like what it was tonight. I’m sure it will be several things, but for now – for me – it’s a getaway. It’s what I need.

Raise one to the “blue den of being a hippie closet of meditation.” Feel free to come and enjoy “the room” as well – it ain’t no secret.

Monday, August 23, 2004

more than a tent...

"And the Logos became a physical body and tented [tabernacled] among us..."

more than a tent
completed covenant of old
a theme revisited,
prophecy foretold
still mobile and holy
now walking with fleshy glory

a command to take
to walk, to dwell
as the tabernacle
wher'ver we go

come let us be
the Christ, the peace
in our home, our 'hood
for the call,
can not be misunderstood

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

complete the joy

The soft voices echoed through my head like a monastary of prayerful monks. The voices alive. The hands warm. The spirit loving and moving. I now know from experience what it means to have one's joy completed by those to whom he ministers.

The prayers from the youth of EV Free and my co-interns from the summer as they laid hands upon me and lifted me heavenward was enough to make me realize that is the place for me. The young hearts so full of love and energy. That is where I am called for the time being. The power of prayer continues to amaze me (so does my lack of consistency and faith when it comes to it).

Reading through Acts has taught me so much about what it means to live in the Spirit daily. How to pray, eat, share, talk, live with others in an overarching Christian community. Paul and Barnabas spent almost everyday preaching and teaching. how wonderful for them to share the Gospel with so many people. It wasn't reserved for or restricted by a service on a particular day of the week. Their lives were filled with such overflowing joy in the character and work of Christ that they had to be about it. They were incomplete without spreading the message of Christ daily.

This past Sunday reminded me of the fullness of joy when the body of believers seeks to be the aroma of Christ together. However, my joy will be made truly complete when your joy is made complete by living in the same tenderness and compassion and fellowship and comfort from the love of Christ. Because when you do - you will love your world with a love so strong that they can not escape from the grasp of Christ in their lives.

What happens if all Christians will gather around one common ideal (like there was a like-mindedness around the interns Sunday)? The unity of Spirit will not only complete joy within the group but empower those within it to go out and shape their world.

Dr Lloyd-Jones says, "According to the Apostle, the only way in which men and women can get rid of a spirit of faction and vainglory is by being linked together in a common object, or interest, a common allegiance...The New Testament says that before you can get that real unity and concord, that peace and amity among men, there must be a common allegiance, and it must be a common allegiance to God and to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ."

Friday, August 13, 2004

so real

crisp. clear. real. widescreen...

the king cobra's scales shimmer in the sun on the HDTV. the discovery channel HD is my new favorite channel. after watching the karate kid (cobra kai's), we thought it best to check out the capabilities of the HDTV. turns out its every bit as awesome as advertised. the show we watched follwed an australian man on the hunt for the world's largest poisonous snake - the king cobra. he was giddy. he searched for 54 days to find the snake. from the sand-sifting snake catch to the jumping-in-the-river-snake rescue, he never ceased to astonish and amaze us with his expertise and audacity for the deadly belly dwelling creatures.

at the end - he finally caught the king cobra. he then proceeded to touch its head - of course, why shouldn't he do that. this particular one was 20 feet long and probably around 15 years old. he was absolutely elated after finding it. he wouldn't be quiet. he made me want to find distugustingly huge, dangerously deadly reptiles as my job, too.

all this was merely compounded by the fact that we watched the entire episode play out on HD. i hope to watch some of the olympics on such a TV here soon.

thanks for the tubular tube 'lique.

at the root, vol 3 of 3

Envy. Avarice.

Two of seven deadly, these frighten me. The desire to have in such a way that would be happy leaving others in want. The desire to posses only for the sake of possession. I believe these two sins to be at the root of all that a demon does.

No other sin has such wretched intent. No other sin puts others lower than the avaritioner or envier. Yet – that is at the very core of a demon and now of the devil. I think it not that he desires his own glory. He merely desires to rob others of the glory of God – in which he is unable to take part. His sole purpose is to thwart our efforts to come to know God better. He would rather us be like him – knowing the depth and pit of despair than the riches of mercy. He spends his time searching the earth for righteous people to bring down and harm and crucify. He sends his minions to do the dirty work. And that is scary.

It is a double greediness. The desire for one’s own good and another’s evil. For Satan, his good is more power and our despair is his joy. This total lack of love and mercy is the scariest part of demonic possession. They will do anything to succeed at our failure.

The saddest part is that we find these same attributes in our own lives. We are a depraved people who need more than this world (or our own pride) has to offer.

(there’s more to this – but I began rambling a long time ago)

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

as iron sharpens iron

five points to a star
shines bright from afar
off to places where each
has been taken

five, not four ride
letters inside
sweet summertime
end now comes

memory book
letters and look
reminders of a unity
a ministry

three states wide
the five reside
separate, yet tied
by what’s inside

fruit seen, unseen
job well done
king seen, unseen
servant, son

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

new eyes, two

After reflecting on the goings-on of the week with the other youth staff, it became fairly obvious that some of the campers were definitely against the Gospel and in fact hindering the preaching of it. Two in particular stand out. One would constantly yell during prayers, keep the campers up at night, fight counselors, and laugh at hideous ideas like killing himself. He was sent home in the middle of the week for telling a camper from our church that he was going to go to Hell. The other camper (female) was non-verbal, yet violent. With eyes closed by a scowling face, she constantly disturbed the other girls in her cabin. One night, this supposedly non-verbal girl, sat up in her bed for hours screaming her own name and grumbling. A gripping video about the power and might of God and of his blessings to us was blocked when the girl stood in front of the projector. She walked back and forth in front of it, blocking the screen and detracting from the video. This is not normal behavior for an autistic child.

At the time, I just thought it was the Autism coming out in a big group setting. Yet – when the pieces from the week were put together, she was not an average Autistic camper. Could it be that our eyes are so shut to the idea of demonic possessions that we don’t even see it when it rears it’s ugly head right in front of us? Is it possible that here in America we don’t see as many demons as in say Africa or Asia because our eyes have been so shut by the devil’s schemes? Tanya – mentioned earlier – was terrified of the possibly possessed girl. Could it be that she, in absolute innocence was able to see evil plainly due to her pure heart?

Can America easily pass over the devil’s plans to use overt demonic possession to thwart the Gospel because we’ve fallen for his easier “little evils” like materialism, sex, power, corruption, lies? We can not see our own battle here in the states because we’ve lost a militant mindset (Ephesians 6). We’ve forgotten that we’re in a battle for souls daily and that we need to be aware that Satan wants us to fail. Only when we look to God to equip us with his full armor can we fight and win.

Still I’m left with questions: Can the devil take over a person so fully with disease that there’s no fighting against it? Are there demons that we can not cast out of people – one’s that have such a stronghold on the person that they’re identity is demonic? How do we differentiate between disease and demon? Does purity of heart allow us to see God as well as allow us to see the devil at work?

In the end I throw up my hands and ask God for more faith.

vol 2 of 3

Sunday, August 01, 2004

new eyes

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8

What can innocence see that we can not? Can it truly be that the innocence found in Christ gives us new eyes? I have many questions and few answers. Desperation to see God’s face is also exasperation for the souls lost amidst this depraved world.

Last week’s journey to Camp Barnabas – a special needs camp in Missouri – proved to be amazing. The campers for this particular week suffer from Downs Syndrome, Autism Spectrum, and developmental delays. Everyday, the Autistic campers never ceased to fascinate me. Most of the time, they are in their own world and desire to stay there, but every once in a while – they come out. You get to see the self that’s guarded so heavily behind the different wiring in their brain. They look at you, acknowledge you, seem to enjoy your presence. Some highlights from the week:

- Louis (10) – non-verbal and his yellow, rubber snake: a joyful pair
- Jonathan (10) – speaks and speaks about ear surgery faster than the MicroMachines man, yet can not put on his shoes
- James (16) – runs and walks, nonverbal – yet loved to be pushed around in his stroller by Michael, for whom he shed a tear and to whom he said “bye” at the end of the week
- Leah (16) – mental age 2, missed mommy so badly yet sings praises to God like an angel
- Joseph (13) – sibling of a special needs child; came out of his shell by allowing me and others to enter his wounded, closed off world

What a great world it was to see God's in the lives of so many of the campers. To see his powerful hand so strongly upon them. To watch them struggle day in and out and know that I am blessed with a "normal" life for no reason outside of God's good pleasure.

Yet, my theology needed pondering after leaving camp. How/ why does God allow them to be captured by their own bodies? In Jesus day, many of the same symptoms suffered by the Autistic kids were said to belong to those suffering from demon possession. Demon possession is closely associated with healing. Many demon-possessed were violent, some mute. Just looking through the Gospels causes me to wonder whether Jesus call to heal and cast out demons is a call to arms; a command to search the world for those in need of freedom. Can it be that some of the kids to whom we were sent to minister are truly imprisoned ministers of the devil? I think it very possible.

vol 1 of 3