"Define yourself in 2 sentences."

I thought for a brief second, then once I remembered again, I breathed. My mind ran to catch up with my now quickly beating heart. No way this question could cause me so much physiological trauma. This wasn’t just a question of what my purpose in life was, this is what is my “definition.” Crap – my life is hard enough right now trying to figure out what the hell I’m doing here, trying to find a job, losing money, wading through not "feeling" joy much of the time, what in my life is going along with my definition of myself?

Could this question really be this hard? Wait – A sojourner – that’s good: I’m wandering in a land that is not my own. No – dumb. I think – New Testament - to Paul and his continual reminder to himself and others to be “in Christ.” His identity was nothing apart from that of Christ. But is that really his definition? Besides – would he write that on an application for employment. I doubt it. It’s so esoteric that one would be laughed at or thought of as a snob to write such a thing. So, what do I write?

I sat. Thinking… Questioning…

Am I what I do? Am I what I read/ think/ act/ say? Am I the sum of my parts? Am I who I am? Am I just defined as a person? A person with thoughts, feelings, emotions, behaviors? Is this question asking what is my definition now and what do I want it to be in the future? Do they even care what I write here? How honest of an answer do they want? Maybe I’m making this too complex, but I couldn’t help it – it rattled me.

I revert back to the Pauline school of thought. If my identity is in Christ, what do I define myself as? Am I anything apart from Him? What does that mean to the world? How can the “outside” world understand the “insider” language of “I am a disciple of Christ?” They simply can’t – I have a hard enough time trying to understand that and live it out practically.

Back to Sean, defined…

Jesus is Jesus. I would like to be, but am, well... not. But I want to be... I want to be solely known for my Christ-like life, and nothing else. And it just so happens that my Christ-like life is lived out within the defined talents and abilities with which God graced me. Thus – I’m not Jesus, I’m Sean, but I have Jesus within me guiding me to live like he did. I’m not perfect but I’m trying to do as well as I can. I’m not sure what life has for me, but I’m asking for help. Man, my life is pitiful – Unlike others in the world, I got nothing figured out, I’m just a lost kid trying to find a way through the jungle. I am nothing apart from Christ. I can’t help it: I’m bankrupt without him. He is reason for living as well as dying, so how do I define myself when my life and breath come from outside myself? I ended up simply settling on this:

“I am a work in progress.”

God only knows if I’ll get the job, but… I think most people can understand that definition. Hopefully the world sees me as walking “the way” towards something (Someone), but at the same time journeying with them amidst a life we rarely understand.